First off: Stellar narration.
Overall this is one of the more well written works in the genre. The premise is very well put together. Yes, it’s meandering but that’s appropriate for the type of story. My main complaint is the seemingly prerequisite female “eye rolling” to unnecessary male bumbling.
I get it – Boy dumb; Girl smart.
That and the strange simultaneous repulsion and deification of the female body.
Oh, and lastly, why do female characters lick male characters they like in this genre? It’s a strange trend I’ve noticed. Not even in a sexual way. They just lick the (inevitably male) main character. Is this supposed to be cute?