This didn’t scare me, it made me mad.

Well, maybe it’s my fault, I chose to listen to this audio book knowing this story might push my buttons.

I was a little gay boy in high school who was bullied, and I had revenge day-dreams about it. It’s written by a gay author and I thought it might have a nice “CARRIE” cathartic revenge flavor to it. Not so.

So, I was surprised that I was offended by the 17 year old gay character being portrayed so terribly stupid, and weak, and foolish and darned unlikable. I understand the book was written to make the reader cringe in horror, but I cringed in horror at the strange self hating perspective of a gay author writing this story.

I’ve read plenty of horror stories that frightened me and didn’t make me mad. I know you can write gay horror with out trashing gay people while doing it. I’m upset because there will be straight people, and impressionable young gay people, who will read this and think that gay high school students are weak, and stupid, and helpless, and who buy into the social structure around them and think they are worthless and wrong for being who they are.

I listened to the last chapter where the author explains how and why he wrote this. He only causally touches on the characters motivations, and maybe puts blame on the times back in the early 90’s not being as enlightened as now.

That explanation doesn’t work. I was a lonely gay kid in the 70’s in the midwest, including a couple of years in a Catholic high school, and not for one second did I think my situation was my fault for being who I was. I knew the homophobic viewpoints of my peers and my teachers to be wrong. By the time I was 17 I’d left home for the big city to find my gay brothers and sisters and I never looked back.

What seemed wrong with “OCTOBER” to me was the author has viewpoints in this book not from the 90’s but from the 50’s. The lead gay protagonist hates himself, and believes his small town view of him is correct. That was horrible, and it turned my stomach.

I was also confused on how old the kids were. At one point his girl friend says she’s 17, yet they have three more years of high school? There was a 19 year old in the senior class. Seniors were 16 or 17 tops when I was in school. I don’t think Canadian high schools are that different.

I can’t recommend this book. The author worked for the Advocate, so I thought he’d have better sense. Then I recalled I also worked for Advocate, and I quit when I saw they were selling out and becoming corporate and more about money than community.

The narrator was good. Perhaps his realistic acting of the characters made the dialogue stand out for the self loathing wrong-headed mind set it is.