As a D&D fan, game artist, and ex Telltale employee, I thoroughly enjoy the LitRPG genre and this series paints the environment and characters beautifully; fantastic writing!
That said, while I enjoy long stretches of character development and humanized dialogue, I definitely think some of the fat could be removed. I found myself glazing over whole chapters without missing any real detail.
I’ll leave with an unrelated personal suggestion.
I would LOVE to see post/pre dungeon character sheets!