Thank you to Sean Duregger, the narrator of the audiobook, for sending me a download in exchange for an honest review!
It’s late at night (or early in the morning depending on how you look at it) and you can’t sleep, so you’re scrolling through Amazon Video for a scary movie to sink your teeth into. That’s when you see it: some ’80s horror film you’ve never heard of. It’s 2 AM and the movie is free. Why not? So you press play. Eighty minutes later, the credits are rolling and you’re asking yourself the same question you asked yourself the last time you chose a random ’80s horror film on Amazon Video: “What did I just watch?” You’re sleep-deprived so you’re having trouble remembering. That, and the movie has literally caused your brain to melt and dribble out your ears and into your midnight snack, so that might have something to do with your memory loss as well. There was something about a scientist with a Russian accent. . .and then there was some generic reporter hunting down a big story that will finally launch his career. . . Also, a female scientist who was actually really pretty for being so smart and all, and. . . ah yes! Zombie-like people with melting faces! There was probably more to the movie, but in the morning it’ll all seem like some bizarre dream which is probably the desired effect anyhow.
If you have ever found yourself in that situation, congratulations! You are a horror fan that will watch literally anything. I know I have been in that exact situation dozens of times and I have zero regrets about it. I also have zero regrets about listening to the audiobook of The Brain Eaters by Gary Brandner, whose formula is exactly what you would find in one of those Amazon bargain bin B-movies, from the Russian scientists to the melting people.
Like those cheesy 80s horror flicks, there is a lot in The Brain Eaters to keep you entertained; hammy dialogue, over-the-top characters, graphic gore and violence, a highly contagious parasitic virus that turns people into angry monsters with bad acne, and the mass hysteria that stems from said virus. . . which is all too timely. On the other hand, there are a couple other pulpy tropes that plague The Brain Eaters for the worst, such as dry monologues and long explanations of the “science” behind the virus. These scenes do lend some charm to the book, however, as it is hard for a story like this to exist without them.
The only thing more enjoyable than reading The Brain Eaters is listening to the audiobook, narrated by Sean Duregger. Sean is just such a nice guy, and you can hear that in his voice. This can sometimes hurt a horror audiobook, but The Brain Eaters isn’t all that scary or meant to be taken seriously. Therefore, Sean’s gleeful energy only serves to enhance the craziness of the story. He is also a pro at acting out the characters and can do a mean Russian accent. Just such a fun time!
Overall, I recommend The Brain Eaters if you are a fan of vintage horror books or if you read Brandner’s classic The Howling and want to read more of his work. This is a bonkers one, and the audiobook is also top-notch!
A solid 3.5 stars.