*spoilers*

I believe this is my second time completely reading and listening to this book as I first read it several years ago when the audio book first came out for the second book. I think. It’s been a long time. I’ve tried to read this book several times since then, but I couldn’t get into it and when I first read this book, I was left with the impression that Lane and Felix’s relationship went by really quickly – like they confessed their love for each other was abrupt and that it didn’t feel genuine, like they weren’t actually in love with each other and said it in the moment. The first intimate scene also kind of felt out of place and not genuine, like they were using each other to make ends meet with feeling good type of thing. Also, as a few other reviews have stated, how was Felix even hired to take care of Lane? Despite being considered expendable due to his lack of connections if something were to go wrong, Lane was really the one doing all the work with taking care of his injuries and so forth, while Felix basically made sure he didn’t fall, made sure he had food, and a few other things. But maybe James and partially Lane really didn’t care if the person that was hired had skills or not, who knows. There was some loose ends or things that came up that didn’t really meet what someone would do in reality. And if they hired someone who was expendable, then they must have believed there was a possiblity of someone coming after Lane again.

I still kind of get the same impression during this read through as I did when I first read this book with their relationship being fast/insta-love like and lacking real connection. Kind of. I can tell that they care about each other – to an extent – and have been through a lot with all the action and shenanigans throughout the entire book. I don’t think they necessarily know each other very well since their relationship is still very new. But I think they know each other enough to get a read on each other. They also like to constantly tease and make fun of each other, but I think they know that it doesn’t come from a mean place – I think they would immediately apologize if it was taken too far or get back at each other in some way. I think another thing is that once again, this is new for both of them. They aren’t in a place where they are 100% comfortable and willing to be completely open with each other, which might be why their confession of being in love felt abrupt and came out of no where – they were also coming off of a life or death situation as well. I think I would have understood it better if they had confessed to liking each other, it’s just stating they are in love with each other didn’t really come across very well in my opinion. It felt somewhat empty. Which this impression I’ve had of them was why I felt discouraged to reread this book or continue on with the series – despite the many positive reviews about their characters. In the past I did have issues with their teasing as I viewed it to be pretty hurtful and not exactly funny, especially with someone who is honestly struggling with a new, terrifying, and irreversable situation. But having read other books by this author, it’s kind of just how she writes, except in the other series by this author, the character’s banter isn’t exactly like this and doesn’t feel like it is demeaning towards the other person – except maybe a few moments between Marcus and Finn in the beginning of their relationship. I think in some ways I do feel like I still have an issue with the way they banter with each other, as a lot of it wasn’t exactly funny. I think in some way, Felix’s teasing did help lighten Lane’s perspective and mood about his new disability, and get him out of feeling depressed about the situation. But a lot of it wasn’t exactly okay, especially with Felix’s character. Lane due to his injury can be excused at certain points, and he did go extremely out of his way to apologize to Felix when he said something that Felix found to be really hurtful. I feel like a lot happened in this book, some of it was pretty funny, but other parts not so much. I’m going to try and give this series another chance and maybe things will make more sense. That their relationship is possibly more of a slow burn compared to the author’s other books. Overall, I’m not sure what to make of this book. I don’t think this book is really my favorite out of this author’s work. I feel like Felix’s character could do with some improvement in some ways. I generally found Lane’s character to be rather interesting, especially how he is so good with weapons and with his undercover work. I would have liked more description on what he looked like besides the constant topic on his muscles being brought up. Like does he have scaring around his eyes from the damage he took? Does he most often wear sunglasses or is he fine without wearing them? I will also say that this book over uses “I’m fine” and “Are you okay/alright?” way too much. This villian might have been a little to hyped up, especially with how things ended for the villian.

*narration*

I thought the narrative was very well done and it definitely enhanced my enjoyment of this book. Joel Leslie literally became the characters.