Story-wise, engaging enough but something I can’t put my finger on seems lacking. Nice world building if a little excessive. Ciranu? Dinma? Unnecessary details that obscure things. Pacing leaves something to be desired. Style-wise, pretty well written.
And as my title suggests, the reader needs to be more familiar with Japanese pronounciation. He keeps saying older sister the same way as older brother, for example. Nii-san is not said the same way as ne/nae-san.