I can’t be bothered to make this a well-written essay with points of criticism flowing into each other and covering everything I found to be good/bad, so here are my jumbled, unorganized opinions:
This book has a wonderful premise, and the character of Will is portrayed quite well as he explores the apocalypse, the new world, and his magic. Overall, the first ten hours are a solid 9.5/10, with good suspense, world-building, and character. While Asterisk (the AI companion) tends to get sidelined a bit too much, Will’s mental state is executed wonderfully and with a lot of skill and patience.
That said, once we get introduced to Effni (the female lead and probable love interest), things start to go down hill fast. We get an astonishing amount of exposition heavy world-building right off the bat with her chapter, and while it IS acceptable world-building, it is explained in a way that leaves very little unsaid, which clashes with the suspense and ‘thrill of discovery’ aspect of the storytelling that the book had been going with so far.
(Minor spoilers ahead) Additionally, the Portal scene and their first meeting is so clearly rushed for the sake of exposition and having the two characters party up that it severely compromises both their characters in the process. Both Will and Effni should be mistrustful, cautious, and incredibly wary of one another, and yet they’re both hotheaded and confrontational for no apparent reason (which makes them look like assholes), and then are already mind-joining within 3 minutes of meeting (tonal whiplash plus lack of boundaries much??). While there are reasons why they would be able to become so close so soon (Will’s forced seclusion and Effni’s need to save her people), none of them are the character motivations for the rushed scene the author cobbled together. It does not help that Asterisk makes no meaningful appearance at all during this incredibly important chain of events (I include the portal scene in this).
This whole arc could have used another draft, and I’m really disappointed with how it was executed. Considering how few reasons we have to care about this arrogant, (relatively) incompetent and bratty character, knowing that she is going to be a major part of the story going forward, I just can’t continue. She’s annoyingly favored by the story without having earned it through ideals, actions, or backstory, and will simply serve as a disappointingly effective weakness of the main character in the upcoming chapters.
Also, while the science is pretty good, it is clear that the research done to support it was not as thorough as it could be. For example, due to the nature of the Speed of Light, even at 99.9% dilated time, light will be as bright as ever due to the fact that is is always traveling at the Speed of Light, which is always infinity faster. Also, when at such a time dilation, it should be impossible for enemies to react to anything done to them (I’m looking at you, flinching spider-dogs). And lastly, the heat produced from such high time dilatation would scale down considerably after the first few moments, as all nearby particles are roughly pushed away and the amount of friction decreases exponentially, unless mere contact causes atomic destruction (which would cause other problems). The waste heat would indeed set other things on fire around him, but considering how fast he should be going (in relation to the vibrating particles that cause the effect known as ‘heat’), even jet engines should feel actively cold to him). Basically, going fast does not just simply equal being on fire.
TL;DR Good starting point, magic system is good if a bit shallow, Love Interest is too much exposition and breaks the flow of the story, her own character, and the MC’s character all at once, while making both of them annoying to watch, Asterisk evaporates when there isn’t training to do, and the science has some noticeable gaps in logic.